Monday, December 6, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
heart
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
my story start
Oh, only the god knows how do I feel. I've never been so down in my entire life but this time, I feel like my breath been taken away from me. It is so painful that i couldn't, I don't know how describe it...
5 July,I'm exhausted. Haven't sleep the entire night. Daddy suddenly collapse. His glucose reading drops to 2.5. Luckily we act kind of fast. He's back to normal half an hour later but then, my eyes just won't shut. And and I look literally like a zombie. Theres nothing I want to do besides sleping... Au revoir!
30 August
Daddy collapse again. I race my bicycle to Unisem to wait for the ambulans. It was raining cats and dogs till its kind of hard for you to see anything. I was all wet and cold. 15 minutes later the ambulans arrive and we take daddy to the hospital. It was my third time for the week and second for the day in the ambulans. The rain still pouring heavily and the ambulans slides on the road really fast. My heart kept praying, please don't let anything happen to him.
10 September
He's improve, we suppost to return home today but on 3.15 p.m that evening he suddenly collapse.I called the nurse and she calls the doctors. He's heart stops for a minute but they manage to make it beat again. He is now unconcious. my hands tremble,my feets shaking. I was there all aloneand only half an hour later the others arrived. We all spend the night besides him.
11 September
He awakes at 4.30 a.m. not really awake actually just semi-concious. They sent him to the HDU(High Dependency Unit). It is so hard to see him with all the wire on him. They gave him morphine to reduce the pain, they said. His chances to survive is as low as none. God! I beg you, save him! I can't live without him.
13 September
Today, when everyone celebrating Eid, we celebrates tears. We went to the hospital early in the morning. It is awkward, he's the one who so excited about celebrating it. Every single year he'll prepare the rendang and his favorite lontong. This year, he's lying there helplessly. It is hard enought to see him like that. Even harder to face the fact that there is nothing that we can do other than staring at him from the far, unable to talk or touch him.
28 September
After 15 days of unconciousness, he finally awake and ready to be set at semi-critical ward. It's a rrelief to see him smiling again. He can even jokes around. They said, it's a miracle and all I can do is thank gos for fulfilling my prayers.
30 September
I went to visit him yesterday. The nurses told me that he keep mumbling and ask me to spend a night there. Today, the doctors decide to let him to go home cause he seems like he's having a homesick. He look relief and i can't help my self from smilling.
5 October
Today, he looks healthier so I decide to give him a haircut and some kind of manicure. I never thought that that was the last haircut that I'll ever gave him. He 'sleeps' on that evening. We all thought it's okay considering that he haven't sleep for a week. When I try to wake him up, I sense something was wrong. I quickly call the ambulans. He is very ill. In the middle of our way to hospital, they had to stop to give him CPR and went straight to the ER as we arrived. It takes almost 5 hours to stablize him. They suspected there was a blood clog in his brain that make him strok. Once again he lie on the bed helplessly.
7 October
He shows no sign of improvement on the second day and on 2 o' clock in the morning, he's getting worst. On 3.10 his heart stops again and this time, forever.
That morning, I've not just lost my father but I've lost a part of my self. Oh, only the god knows how do I feel. I've never been so down in my entire life but this time, I feel like my breath been taken away from me. It is so painful that i couldn't, I don't know how describe it...
30 August
Daddy collapse again. I race my bicycle to Unisem to wait for the ambulans. It was raining cats and dogs till its kind of hard for you to see anything. I was all wet and cold. 15 minutes later the ambulans arrive and we take daddy to the hospital. It was my third time for the week and second for the day in the ambulans. The rain still pouring heavily and the ambulans slides on the road really fast. My heart kept praying, please don't let anything happen to him.
10 September
He's improve, we suppost to return home today but on 3.15 p.m that evening he suddenly collapse.I called the nurse and she calls the doctors. He's heart stops for a minute but they manage to make it beat again. He is now unconcious. my hands tremble,my feets shaking. I was there all aloneand only half an hour later the others arrived. We all spend the night besides him.
11 September
He awakes at 4.30 a.m. not really awake actually just semi-concious. They sent him to the HDU(High Dependency Unit). It is so hard to see him with all the wire on him. They gave him morphine to reduce the pain, they said. His chances to survive is as low as none. God! I beg you, save him! I can't live without him.
13 September
Today, when everyone celebrating Eid, we celebrates tears. We went to the hospital early in the morning. It is awkward, he's the one who so excited about celebrating it. Every single year he'll prepare the rendang and his favorite lontong. This year, he's lying there helplessly. It is hard enought to see him like that. Even harder to face the fact that there is nothing that we can do other than staring at him from the far, unable to talk or touch him.
28 September
After 15 days of unconciousness, he finally awake and ready to be set at semi-critical ward. It's a rrelief to see him smiling again. He can even jokes around. They said, it's a miracle and all I can do is thank gos for fulfilling my prayers.
30 September
I went to visit him yesterday. The nurses told me that he keep mumbling and ask me to spend a night there. Today, the doctors decide to let him to go home cause he seems like he's having a homesick. He look relief and i can't help my self from smilling.
5 October
Today, he looks healthier so I decide to give him a haircut and some kind of manicure. I never thought that that was the last haircut that I'll ever gave him. He 'sleeps' on that evening. We all thought it's okay considering that he haven't sleep for a week. When I try to wake him up, I sense something was wrong. I quickly call the ambulans. He is very ill. In the middle of our way to hospital, they had to stop to give him CPR and went straight to the ER as we arrived. It takes almost 5 hours to stablize him. They suspected there was a blood clog in his brain that make him strok. Once again he lie on the bed helplessly.
7 October
He shows no sign of improvement on the second day and on 2 o' clock in the morning, he's getting worst. On 3.10 his heart stops again and this time, forever.
That morning, I've not just lost my father but I've lost a part of my self. Oh, only the god knows how do I feel. I've never been so down in my entire life but this time, I feel like my breath been taken away from me. It is so painful that i couldn't, I don't know how describe it...
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